Not Your Fucking Monkey!

Word has gotten around the office that I am in a band.

A bunch of people have asked me to get "my band" to play a show on our balcony at some "mixer" party between our floor and a sister company upstairs. I said no, and feel very good about this decision. Although the president of the upstairs company seemed completely befuddled and a bit cross at my refusal.

And it was all I could do NOT to say:

Hey! HERE'S a GREAT idea! My friends and I are having a loft party in Bushwick, and we totally though you could come and do some work! No, dude! Dude! DUDE! Dude, it will be so cool, we can get a desk, and you can use my friends phone, and you can like, make some deals happen at the party! No, dude, it is going to be awesome! Seriously! What do you mean? Yeah, but my friend Emily used to temp, she could be like your assistant! Come ON, what is your problem? WHATEVER.

And by the way, NO monkey should be anyone's "monkey."