Thursday, April 20, 2006


I had three "serious" posts in mind for today, and the weather is so beautiful and I am in such a good mood that I would rather post something Interactive and Silly: thus:

Reasons I Have Been Late To Work That My Employer Would Most Likely Not Sanction

1) Hungover
2) Having morning sex
3) Masturbating seemed important at the time

4) Could not figure out what to wear
5) Difficulty finding clothes in messy room
5) Vomiting on subway platform (see 1)
6) Had to finish putting on makeup
7) Taxi taken for reasons 1-7 stuck in traffic

8) En route to subway saw a baby rat shivering on top of some shoveled snow, so went to the coffeshop and bought a muffin and coffee with an extra cup, returned to location of scared/ cold baby rat, put muffin piece in bottom of cup, placed cup horizontally next to baby rat who promptly ran inside cup to eat muffin, took rat in cup to safer snowbank area by tree and carefully placed cup horizontally on the ground, placed rest of muffin by front of cup hoping baby rat would be okay, continued on to subway

Please share what's made YOU tardy!


Anonymous z said...

Those are the most awesome f*cking reasons for lateness I've ever heard. I have nothing nearly as exciting. Though we do have 1, 4, and 5 (parts 1 and 2) in common.

2:07 PM  
Blogger Surge84 said...

I was late masterbating just today. YES!

5:36 PM  
Blogger Mr. H.K. said...

I love the baby rat story!

I once rescued a poodle puppy with scrambled eggs...

Come to think of it, I had to take that whole day off...


Mr. H.K.
Postcards from Hell's

And I Quote Blog

5:11 PM  

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