Tuesday, November 29, 2005

In The Spirit of Christmas, Calm The Fuck Down

It cracks me up, how all these wingnuts get in a lather about The Liberal War on Christmas, as if the ACLU were going to go from house to house confiscating Barbies, fruitcake, and Xboxes!

New York City as about as ethnically diverse as you can get. Especially Queens. And you don't see people here freaking out about whether people wish them "Merry Christmas" or "Fitzmas" or "Happy Holidays" or whatever. I think it's because here people just do what they want and everyone leaves everyone else alone, in that Great American Melting Pot way that this nation used to be about back in the days of Schoolhouse Rock. It seems to me it's in the burbs where this pernicious craptastic paranoia takes root, n'est-ce pas?

The Via Vespucci side of Graham Avenue is currently sporting those big happy tinsel arcs between the light poles, creating a gaudy lit-up bower from Metropolitan to the BQE. It's nice. Am I a Christian? No fucking way. Does it make me happy to see the street all pretty? Fuck, yeah.

Do Trey and I celebrate Christmas? Sure. We don't mind that Saturnalia got coerced into double duty, just as we don't mind sitting at the kids' table now and again. Will we lie to our kids about Santa Claus? Hell no. Will we perhaps one day tell our baby minous that Mommy and Daddy need to stay up late to eat oysters and Petit Robert? Probably.

Given that our government is TORTURING PEOPLE and INCINERATING ENTIRE CITIES WITH PHOSPHORUS and LEAVING POOR PEOPLE TO DIE, oh yeah, not to mention BLEEDING THE REST OF OUR TAX DOLLARS IN AN ILLEGAL WAR WHILE OUR POOR TROOPS FUCKING SUFFER OVER THERE, I hardly think that an underpaid, uninsured Wal-Mart greeter's feeble "Happy Holidays!" warrants the teensiest quiver on Joe America's OutRageOMeter.

Alas, it is a uniquely American exceptionalism and contempt for history that fuels these tantrums: Marriage is "sacred", except, oh yeah, women used to be property and polygamy used to be totally normal, and "Christmas" is sacrosanct, umm, except it was a pagan bait-n-switch and now is an excuse for people to rack up debt and trample people while they buy more shit no one needs made by the people who got their outsourced jobs.

Have a nice day.


Anonymous z said...

i'm with you.

We've met the couple in charge of the graham ave decorations at neighborhood events... they're so very old school. You've probably seen them around, you just don't know it... Their names are Tish and Guido. They run the "Consoined Citizens of Withers Street" too. They can tell you STORIES, man.

2:33 PM  
Blogger Daedalus said...

What would the wingnuts do if we started attacking them for lying to their kids about Santa Claus? Would they view that as sacrilege? I mean, is Santa holy? I'd love to see that debate.

4:15 PM  
Blogger piksea said...

Hee! I think I love you! Since when are sincere and even insincere, but friendly greetings meant to be turned into fighting words. Santa, last time I checked, was not the baby Jesus, so I guess it's safe to say that the Santa holiday is really not a religious one. It's just an excuse to have a holiday. Everyone enjoys the decorations and the sales and the days off from work, so enjoy the good you get from it and whenever you are in receipt of a little bit of friendly holiday spirit - smile and return the sentiment. They say happiness is contagious. There are about 5.9 billion people who ought to give it a try.

4:33 PM  
Blogger jane said...

I think these people who are all up in arms about the Walmart greets are hilarious. Thanks to them, I don't even need any artifical stimuli to totally laugh my ass off!

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Otto K. said...

Would it be weird if I just said as a response to your excellent post: Amen! :-)

4:32 PM  

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