Wednesday, May 25, 2005

I Love You, Christopher X. Brodeur

Christopher X. Brodeur is running for mayor. I am totally voting for him.

I bet even Kender would vote for Christopher X. Brodeur!

And then, I am going to ask him how I can spearhead the secession of New York City, creating the United Boroughs of New York. I will personally join the New York city militia.

All through my American history classes, I never understood on a visceral level why the American revolution was a big deal. Even when Gail Nolan, my 11th grade U.S. history teacher would smash her pointer over and over on the blackboard while we were learning about Patrick Henry, screaming like Joan Crawford campaigning against wire hangers, "GIVE ME LIBERTY OR GIVE ME DEATH!" to a room of half-asleep, slightly embarrassed students, I didn't quite get it.

Now I think I do.

With every new and depressing news item, or every omission and even more depressing news item, my first reaction has been "Can we LEAVE?" and planning a happy quiet life in Amsterdam or Podensac.

But now I just feel outrage that my country is going down the toilet thanks to the unholy circle jerk of Focus on The Family, the neo-cons, and the general idiocy of most people. This is my land just as much as, if not more than theirs. I actually believe in the Constitution and I am not so deeply unformed a person that I need to concern myself with what my neighbors do in bed, or that everyone else should be forced to swallow the Gepetto-esque worldview on Invisible Eschatological Grandpa.

It's angering me enough that I'm ready to pick up a gun and scream "Get the hell off my land!"

You think I'm kidding.


Blogger Ashbloem said...

I know you're not.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Mr. H.K. said...

Bernard Goetz is running for Public Advocate. He's a vegetarian and he keeps pet squirrels, too. This is oddly important, I think... That is all.

4:59 PM  

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