Friday, May 13, 2005

God Breast America


Check out this article in the New York Times about the DILEMMA breast-augmented women face, now that most high end designer clothes aren't cut for their new figures!

In a way, this embodies a particularly American "you-can-have-it-all!" variety of cognitive dissonance, not unlike the old Enjoli ads
in which our heroine brags how she can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan AND never let you forget you're a man! In the glorious 21st century,
in the U.S. of A. why can't women be Pamela Anderson AND Audrey Hepburn? (Umm, because it's ontologically impossible???)

Does anyone else find the following quote as schizoid as I do?

THERE are worse fashion dilemmas than the one confronting Heidi Pollert, 30, a marketing executive in Houston, who can afford suits from Prada and MaxMara but must spend a small fortune on alterations because her bust is too big for the cut of most designer clothes.

"I like well-fitted clothing with straight lines, a real classic look," said Ms. Pollert, who works for a wealth management company and tends to dress more conservatively than one might expect of a woman who has had breast implants that increased her cup size to 34F. "I'm bigger around the top, but I'm small everywhere else," she said. "So I have to have everything tailored, especially jackets."

WAIT A MINUTE -- If you are so concerned about straight, "classic" lines, why are you A 34F ON PURPOSE?? especially if you are "small everywhere else?"

There is nothing wrong with being a 34F. But do you see what I'm getting at?

I have always been pretty rabidly anti-breast implants, more for aesthetics than anything else -- I tend to think that natural boobs of any size are prettier than 90% of most augmented poitrines. I think it is sad that my daughter (and/or my son, for that matter) may grow up in a culture where fake boobs are the rule rather than the exception.

No surprise, either, that the U.S. is all fixated on boobies, with more implants than any other country save, maybe Venezuela -- yet we see Janet Jackson's on TV for two seconds and the whole country has a grand mal seizure. Too bad America isn't more of, say, an ass man (and I don't mean like Dr. Hager! )


Blogger Kender said...

My wife is a natural 34 G and has been considering surgery to reduce them....I don't care either way,a s I don't love her because of her breasts, but she too spends quite a bit of money on alterations.

And you are correct about the janet jackson boob manuver....we see violence everyday on TV and nary a womans nipple, and growing up in a high crime area I still never saw anyone shot but the first time I saw a womans nipple I was speechless....we should change that to be the opposite.

I would like people to be appalled at violence and non-plussed at breasts.

BTW, the wife is 34-24-36 with a 36" inseam and 148 lbs.....she plays hell buying clothes and has gone mostly with VS jeans and some customs tailored stuff, bra's come from england and macy's and nordstroms have great tailors, but still I must ask...any suggestions for clothing manufacturers?

11:56 PM  
Blogger N said...

I agree re breast implants; I'm just generally against them. Unless they were for some truly utilitarian purpose, rather than just cosmetic, I think that having breast implants would automatically make me NOT want to get romantically involved with a woman. The idea itself is so shallow and superficial, and on top of that, they just plain look ugly. Solid and ridicuously convex. All semblance of soft, real human tissue is gone... Brrr.

9:43 AM  
Blogger Lillet Langtry said...

Hi Kender!

I asked a friend of mine who has been a professional wardrobe stylist (and is rather busty herself) and she was at a loss ... I do know that Agent Provocateur makes larger size bras and the quality is excellent (although pricey ) and I LOVE their underwear, even though I am but a 34 B. :)

But, according to this article, it seems like more designers are going to start cutting their clothes to accomodate fuller-breasted women, so maybe she won't have to get everything altered all the time.

I am very shortwaisted and have narrow shoulders and I have to get a lot of vintage stuff altered. Sigh!

If I hear anything new, I'll let you know. And I'm totally with you on the violence/boobs issue!

2:12 PM  
Blogger Mr. H.K. said...

I wanted to comment on your post, but I need to get over to Hooters.

5:19 PM  

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