Monday, October 27, 2008

Vegan MoFo: A Very Bad Idea or Bouquet Garni Gone Terribly Awry

I was feeling pretty crappy and dazed this weekend with some killer PMS and generally panicky. I had planned to get a lot more cooking done on Saturday than I did. But Sunday after 12 hours of sleep and good times at the dog parade in McGolrick, I felt up to making seitan. In particular, I'd been wanting to try Joanna's Chicken Style Seitan Cutlets to have for the week, for a piccata since they seemed perfect for that purpose.

I put the cold water on the stove. I assembled a delicious bouquet garni of a big handful of Penzey's Parisien Bonne Herbes, several bay leaves, some rosemary stalks, some thyme stalks, aroudn ten peppercorns and some sage leaves. I didn't have a tea bag or any cheesecloth, so I just cut the foot off of a lair of laundered tights that had a big run in the leg. I popped the boquet garni into the cold water.

Then I mixed the wet and dry ingredients and kneaded the dough, which smelled delicious. Already I had high hopes for this recipe! Joanna's technique of flattening the cutlets between sheets of parchment paper is pure genius. As I slipped each lovely cutlet into the pot I imagined how delicious they would be, breaded and fried and covered with lemon and wine and fines herbes and capers. I began imagining cutlet-y dishes with which to impress my mother-in-law, who is not so privately horrified at our veganism. This was the first step towards new culinary triumphs chez moi!

I brought the cutlets to a low boil, and then to a simmer. I set the timer for an hour.

I checked on them. They had not risen to the top. And the broth -- The broth ... I had made a BIG MISTAKE.

If you are going to use the foot of a stocking for your bouquet garni -- DON'T USE BLACK STOCKINGS FROM H&M!!

I am off to buy cheesecloth, and we will try this again later in the week.

5 Comments:

Blogger Jeni Treehugger said...

Oh dear!
That just made me laugh so much because it's the sort of thing I'd do!!
Incidentally I wouldn't bother about putting the Herbs inside anything - just add them to the pot as is.
Good luck for next time

*goes off giggling profusely*

11:26 AM  
Blogger Lillet Langtry said...

It is pretty funny! I'm glad you thought so -- and thanks for the tip!!!

xoxo !L

11:34 AM  
Blogger Liz (EFCliz) said...

Sorry but that really did make me laugh!

1:39 PM  
Blogger For the Love of Guava said...

mm... that should teach me to improvise in the kitchen... except it actually makes me think the tights are a good substitute... heehe... sorry about the mishap! good luck on the next try!

1:58 PM  
Blogger Tami (Vegan Appetite) said...

I feel awful laughing at your black seitan, but man, that's funny!

Too bad you couldn't pass it off as a Halloween theme.

4:02 PM  

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