Monday, October 27, 2008

Vegan MoFo: A Very Bad Idea or Bouquet Garni Gone Terribly Awry

I was feeling pretty crappy and dazed this weekend with some killer PMS and generally panicky. I had planned to get a lot more cooking done on Saturday than I did. But Sunday after 12 hours of sleep and good times at the dog parade in McGolrick, I felt up to making seitan. In particular, I'd been wanting to try Joanna's Chicken Style Seitan Cutlets to have for the week, for a piccata since they seemed perfect for that purpose.

I put the cold water on the stove. I assembled a delicious bouquet garni of a big handful of Penzey's Parisien Bonne Herbes, several bay leaves, some rosemary stalks, some thyme stalks, aroudn ten peppercorns and some sage leaves. I didn't have a tea bag or any cheesecloth, so I just cut the foot off of a lair of laundered tights that had a big run in the leg. I popped the boquet garni into the cold water.

Then I mixed the wet and dry ingredients and kneaded the dough, which smelled delicious. Already I had high hopes for this recipe! Joanna's technique of flattening the cutlets between sheets of parchment paper is pure genius. As I slipped each lovely cutlet into the pot I imagined how delicious they would be, breaded and fried and covered with lemon and wine and fines herbes and capers. I began imagining cutlet-y dishes with which to impress my mother-in-law, who is not so privately horrified at our veganism. This was the first step towards new culinary triumphs chez moi!

I brought the cutlets to a low boil, and then to a simmer. I set the timer for an hour.

I checked on them. They had not risen to the top. And the broth -- The broth ... I had made a BIG MISTAKE.

If you are going to use the foot of a stocking for your bouquet garni -- DON'T USE BLACK STOCKINGS FROM H&M!!

I am off to buy cheesecloth, and we will try this again later in the week.


Blogger Jeni Treehugger said...

Oh dear!
That just made me laugh so much because it's the sort of thing I'd do!!
Incidentally I wouldn't bother about putting the Herbs inside anything - just add them to the pot as is.
Good luck for next time

*goes off giggling profusely*

11:26 AM  
Blogger Lillet Langtry said...

It is pretty funny! I'm glad you thought so -- and thanks for the tip!!!

xoxo !L

11:34 AM  
Blogger Liz (EFCliz) said...

Sorry but that really did make me laugh!

1:39 PM  
Blogger For the Love of Guava said...

mm... that should teach me to improvise in the kitchen... except it actually makes me think the tights are a good substitute... heehe... sorry about the mishap! good luck on the next try!

1:58 PM  
Blogger Tami (Vegan Appetite) said...

I feel awful laughing at your black seitan, but man, that's funny!

Too bad you couldn't pass it off as a Halloween theme.

4:02 PM  

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