Same Shit, Different Day
It seems women hate pooping in public bathrooms. I was one of them from a very young age, and would NEVER EVER poop at school, for fear that I would be late for my next class or that, heavens forfend, someone would KNOW that I was POOPING. Even at
Being vegan has changed this as far as I am concerned because I now I am a champion pooping machine and couldn’t not poop all day if I tried. In addition, I used to be one of those people who HAD to read something, anything, even the back of a can of hairspray to poop and now I don’t have the TIME to read when I go. I sit down, and in less than 20 seconds everything is all done and I get on with my day. Also, my shit doesn’t really smell bad anymore -- like horse poops more than like a port-a-john at a Garth Brooks concert.
Anyway, I felt bad today because as I went into the bathroom this morning I recognized the feet of a co-worker who will not poop while anyone is in there. I know this because one day I interrupted her attempts to poop 3 times. Each time I recognized the shoes and the silence and felt bad, wanting to say, “GO FOR IT, [co-worker’s name]! POOP AWAY!!” Instead I proceeded with my happy big old vegan horse poop, jauntily flushed the toilet with my peep-toe pump, and left her to her solitude. Hopefully she will learn that it is okay, and everybody poops. Let’s all start unabashedly pooping in the ladies’ room, and have a revolution!