Tuesday, March 11, 2008

I Bet She Has A Statement To Make, Too

Ladies, can we band together and form an organization to put an END to this tradition of the "stand by your cheating man" political wife? That is what offends me the most about this scandal, is that Spitzer's wife got roped into standing behind him at the podium, with that bevaliumed expression. The wife's presence underscores the hollowness of the now de rigeur public apology -- since it stands to reason if the man was sorry for hurting his wife, if he had any regard for her whatsoever, the LAST thing he would do is drag her up to the podium like that.

"Hey, honey, ummm, I'm really sorry but, ummmm... Yeah so I was screwing some hookers. I know. I'm REALLY SORRY. Hey can you do me just one more thing? Just eat these Valiums and slap on a fentayl patch and kinda stand up here during this press conference? What? WHADDAYA MEAN you don't want to? You fucking uptight bitch! You can't do this ONE THING FOR ME?"

SO can we just stop it with the press conferences? Henceforth just release a statement that says "FUCK, I GOT CAUGHT. SHIT!" and we'll all move on.

Sigh. I am glad I will never be in that situation -- but were I, the only press conference I would be having would be with a bottle of tequila, a locksmith and a lawyer.

On the bright side, it is scandals like these that bring out the BEST in the New York Post's headline writers!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

it makes me think of this funny essay steve martin wrote:

11:46 AM  

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