Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Call Me Anomie Malone

Because my cameraphone is crap, I present you with the text of the ad pictured here:

Man loses his Metrocard here.
City worker lends him the fare.
A year later, they’re married.
Only in New York.

I hate this ad.

First of all, it is on the wall of the platform of the 14th street F train.

On the platform.

If you lose your Metrocard on the fucking platform, who gives a shit, because you have ALREADY GONE THROUGH THE TURNSTILE.

It is clear that the copywrit-- TYPISTS at the crap ad agency have never actually RIDDEN THE SUBWAY.

Second: “City worker lends him the fare”?
a) Dude already got through the turnstile, already PAID the fare!
b) “City worker”? What KIND of “city worker”? MTA employee? Social worker? Bloomberg’s admin assistant? Is it the chick sweeping the platform? Cause if she was sweeping the platform, she would have seen this guy’s Metrocard anyway, right? Seeing as the sign says that he lost it on the bare platform? Pretty easy to see, if your fucking yellow Metrocard falls out of your pocket onto the platform, you know. Maybe you could take your head out of your ass for a second and LOOK AROUND.

“Only in New York,” my ass. New York’s wan simulacra exponentially metastasize, grow legion from the body of their dying host. Metropolitan Diary was lame enough: now we are Life In These United States!

This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but with a Bloomin Onion!


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