Thursday, January 26, 2006

Almost As Painful As A Root Canal Sans Novocaine

is watching James Frey get grilled on a very special Oprah. I've never seen or heard him speak before -- he has a terrifically flat affect and a wholly unpleasant nasal, mincing voice (that would give my husband, being hyper-sensitive to vocal timbre, a mortal case of the heebie-jeebies!)

I am embarrassed to say that James Frey is reminding me of an actor/former junkie/ possible current or former alcoholic -- I do not know as we are no longer in touch -- that I dated somewhat seriously for a time. It's funny, but although I am very comfortable discussing drug addiction, talking about alcoholism to newly reformed alcoholics makes my skin crawl. When my mother was drinking all the time and doing horrible things wasn't as difficult as when she joined AA and started talking about her disease and higher power and shit all the time -- as if I was supposed to reward her for achieving some kind of baseline functionality, conveniently retaining no memory of all the things she had done. It's a lot to ask of a 13 year old. As an adult I am far more forgiving, but as a child, it was kind of like that Chris Rock routine, about "how come black people always acting all proud of shit you SUPPOSED to do?" "Hey, I ain't never been in jail!" "You SUPPOSED to stay out of jail! WHAT THE FUCK?"

My real motivation to never become an alcoholic is and has always been to avoid ever having to go to AA. Although there are periods where I have come somewhat close, I can with all honesty say that I am not. I can see that parallel-universe Lillet, who even holds my hand in the front seat at times -- I've learned to be kind to her, and make her laugh, but I'll never allow her to drive.


Blogger spillah said...

And he's acting as if he's special because he's not in jail at the moment, while everyone else can see the door to the squad car opening already.


Someday he will learn that there is nothing glamorous at all about jail or a squad car or any of the other punishments invented to keep people from hurting others. Maybe.

12:27 AM  

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