Temper

tem·per Audio pronunciation of "temper" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (tmpr)
v. tem·pered, tem·per·ing, tem·pers
v. tr.

1. To modify by the addition of a moderating element; moderate: “temper its doctrinaire logic with a little practical wisdom” (Robert H. Jackson). See Synonyms at moderate.
2. To bring to a desired consistency, texture, hardness, or other physical condition by or as if by blending, admixing, or kneading: temper clay; paints that had been tempered with oil.
3. To harden or strengthen (metal or glass) by application of heat or by heating and cooling.
4. To strengthen through experience or hardship; toughen: soldiers who had been tempered by combat.
5. To adjust finely; attune: a portfolio that is tempered to the investor's needs.
6. Music. To adjust (the pitch of an instrument) to a temperament.
v. intr.
To be or become tempered.
n.
1. A state of mind or emotions; disposition: an even temper.
2. Calmness of mind or emotions; composure: lose one's temper.
3.
1. A tendency to become easily angry or irritable: a quick temper.
2. An outburst of rage: a fit of temper.
4. A characteristic general quality; tone: heroes who exemplified the medieval temper; the politicized temper of the 1930s.
5.
1. The condition of being tempered.
2. The degree of hardness and elasticity of a metal, chiefly steel, achieved by tempering.
6. A modifying substance or agent added to something else.
7. Archaic. A middle course between extremes; a mean.

Re: Archaic number 7: There seems to be no middle course between extremes these days: I'm up and down and just plain mean! Being "tempered" by recent events, does that make me mid-temper? And therefore at present, by necessity, ill-tempered? Or just a fucking bitch?

An alchemical image comes to mind, where the wolf's paws are cut off and he is burned in the bottle before turning into gold. Something like that. But I find nothing poetic about picking a fight with one's poor husband and then accidentally shoving one's fist through the glass door in a rage. That's just pathetic.

These days I am many things I hate. I have felt abandoned by my mother my entire life: now that she is actually gone that feeling is back the way your hair smells foulest as the shower first hits it after a stupid night out. Is there anything original or special about this? Hell no. Is it anyone else's fault? No. Get it together, self: put one foot in front of the fucking other, and simply deal.